Literally, You Guys

Kimmy said, “When I kissed Chad, I literally saw stars!”

And Sissi was all like, “Wait. You kissed him while looking up to the sky? How did you bend your head that way?”

And all the girls gawked at Sissi, ’cause she was such a party popper, that nerd.

So Kimmy rolled her eyes and said, “OMG, can you be more weird, Sissi?”

The girls nodded and said, “Totes.”

Sissi couldn’t quite understand what was going on. “It’s not about being weird, you guys! It’s literally about the overuse of the word ‘literally’.”

Kimmy swooshed her long blond tresses as it they were a whip, and said in the most blasé of ways, “I literally can’t even, Sissi. Let’s go, girls.”

And that’s how Sissi got banned from the cheerleading squad.

She later married the guy who invented Google. Figuratively speaking. Because he must be like a thousand-year-old, you guys.

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32 thoughts on “Literally, You Guys

  1. Loved it! Just today I saw a guy who stopped dating a girl who couldn’t stand that she would never finish this exact phrase – “I literally can’t even…” 🙂

  2. This is awesome, I seriously approved of it. I have figuratively slammed my head into a wall because of my friend saying the words, “You should literally just make out with his stupid ass”, which my reply to was, “I don’t think kisses were meant to go on that part of a person.”
    This was nice to see.

  3. Shouldn’t the title then be literally something like this,’ literally, you guys and girls’? I literally laughed out loud when I read this. Luckily, I am not literally an illiterate though I could literally pass for one at times as I had to read it twice to literally comprehend it. Keep on blogging in a literally free world – The False Prophet

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