Kimmy said, “When I kissed Chad, I literally saw stars!”
And Sissi was all like, “Wait. You kissed him while looking up to the sky? How did you bend your head that way?”
And all the girls gawked at Sissi, ’cause she was such a party popper, that nerd.
So Kimmy rolled her eyes and said, “OMG, can you be more weird, Sissi?”
The girls nodded and said, “Totes.”
Sissi couldn’t quite understand what was going on. “It’s not about being weird, you guys! It’s literally about the overuse of the word ‘literally’.”
Kimmy swooshed her long blond tresses as it they were a whip, and said in the most blasé of ways, “I literally can’t even, Sissi. Let’s go, girls.”
And that’s how Sissi got banned from the cheerleading squad.
She later married the guy who invented Google. Figuratively speaking. Because he must be like a thousand-year-old, you guys.