Today I will share with you one of my favorite jokes.
I really shouldn’t, because you’ll probably unfollow me. No, seriously, hear me out: I have a knack for telling jokes that are totally and irreparably NOT funny.
I’ve lost (potential) friendships after telling this joke. I wish I were joking, because I’m a master of jest (Dibs on the book title!), but this time, I’m really not.
So, you have been warned. If you wish to proceed, that’s on your own risk, and you can’t unfollow me. Also, you cannot go back. Once you read the joke, that’s it. I wish I could rewind time for you, but that would out me as an alien, and trust me, we’re both not ready for that yet.
*Ahem* Here we go:
There was once a baby chicken born with no anus.
One time it tried to fart, and it blew up.
I can tell this joke in three different languages, by the way.
German:
Es war einmal ein Baby Huhn ohne Anus geboren. Einmal versuchte es zu furzen, und es explodierte.
Portuguese:
Era uma vez um pintinho sem cu. Um dia ele foi peidar e explodiu.
Spanish:
Había una vez un polluelo sin ano. Una vez, trató de tirarse un pedo y explotó.
You’re welcome, mankind.
That’s so depressing! >.< Ahaha!
Haha… Okay… I’m twisted…
You and I both sister!
Ahhhhahaha, I know why you are my BFF 😛
Totes!!
I liked the German version better bahahahahaha
See, what you need to do is get involved with the Prince of Persia; then you have him offer Sands of Time to people after hearing the joke, and claim a 30% “finders fee” for his clients. Of course, now that they don’t remember hearing the joke, you can offer to tell it again… and again… and again. Free money, I’m telling you! 😉
Hmmm, interesting…
*6 months later Madam W conquers THE WORLD*
Of course, now you just have to stop the Prince from selling the Sands to someone else to prevent that outcome… XD
I shall drink his blood
Sounds like a plan. Now you just have to avoid the Dhaka, and you’re all set for world domination!
That poor baby chicken. : (
😆
I’ve heard much worse in the joke department! http://lilypupslife.wordpress.com/
Dear Madam_W:
Why, oh why, did I not heed the warnings? “Go ye no further,” said the sign. “Joke is not funny.” But then I think, “No! That can’t be. The joke MUST be funny, or it wouldn’t be a joke.”
Then I get mad. “Who is this Madam_W that she thinks she knows what I think is funny? I know funny.” I’m angry!
I decide, I’ll just discuss this with her. Maybe we can work something out and there’ll be compromise, like, just tell me a few words at a time and we can decide if I want to go further with the joke.
Then, I’m sad that you think I won’t think it’s funny. I grovel in a dark depression for a few seconds.
Finally, I’m in acceptance that the joke is tasteless and unfunny. I wander off to contemplate if something that’s not funny can be called a joke. I briefly consider whether to blog about it. I mourn the farting baby chick.
I thought it was going to be a Why-was-6-afraid-of-7 kind of jokes. Like you see on the side of those waxy paper cups for kids…
Dude, it’s just a joke about a baby chick with no anus. If I shared a few words first, I’d lose the punch, because jokes, even bad ones, need a punch.
😀
It’s the 5 steps of grief.
Hahahaha…. Ok..I laughed.! Is that wrong.?
No, that means you are awesome.
Hahaha..!! Yay.!! Thanks for the blog follow too 🙂
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Reblogged this on Jin Okubo and commented:
I may be crazy or just insane but I laughed really hard at this joke
I’m not exactly sure why I giggled like a little school girl at this.. Maybe I should reevaluate my life?….. Nahhhhh. Lol. Thanks for the giggles!
U r welcome hehe
hee hee,,,,,,fuck em, if they can’t take a joke….. 🙂
Right? > : D
Here it is in Dutch (for your collection) .
Er was eens een kuiken geboren zonder anus.
Op een dag wilde hij een scheet laten en blies zichzelf op.
I think it’s funnier in English, though.
Brilliant.Thanks for your contribution! I’m adding it to my records. I LOVE Holland by the way!
You are welcome. Have you been here often?
Only once to Amsterdam. I absolutely loved it, such a beautiful place with so much to do. The channels were a personal favorite of mine, but also the tulip fields were astonishing.
If you liked Amsterdam, you should really visit Utrecht and The Hague, totally worth it. Here’s a nice blog on Amsterdam. This guy knows how to take a picture: https://shotsbydickvisser.wordpress.com/
Cool, must check it out! 🙂
PfffftBWAH. Ohmigod, I come visit your blog and I see this. Love it.
I also have a fondness for distinctly unfunny jokes. Here’s my favorite, for your collection:
(Best told in one breath)
So there’re these two muffins hanging out in an oven. One muffin turns to the other muffin and goes “is it hot in here, or is it just me?” And the other muffin says:
“Holy shit, it’s a talking muffin.”
PS–I think Master of Jest is more likely to be a graduate degree.
Omg yes to the joke and yes to master of jest or Jest, phd
That’s my kind of joke.
An even worse one is this (really, really tasteless, possibly offensive, most definitely offensive)
Q-What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A-Cancer.
It’s so awful. Sorry if anyone wants to kill me now, gallows humor. 😉
Dude, you went too far.
I know. It’s terrible.
Yeah, awful. … 😀
Hahahaha I’m probably going to hell for laughing at this 😀 Poor chicky! Your ex-friends don’t seem to have a sense of humor 😛
Right? Hehehe
😀
You need more translations! 🙂
As the proud owner of 10 parrots, all of which have anuses, I thought that joke was funny. i can’t wait to tell my friend, Steph cause she will think it is funny too. Julie.
Awesome, please do! This joke needs to become mainstream.
Oh. I will. The joke made me laugh so hard I cried. Julie