If You Could Be Any Fictional Character, Who Would You Be?

It’s pretty simple: leave your answers on the comments below, explaining your choice. By the way, you can choose more than one character.

To make it fun, you can choose a character who isn’t much like you, and one who is closer to your actual personality. But you don’t have to. In the end, just follow your gut.

Rules:

A) You can’t choose Batman. It’s too obvious because everyone wants to be Batman.

B) You can’t answer, “My awesome self”¬† because one) you’d ruin the game, and two) that’s super corny.

So, I’ll start.

If you’ve been reading my blog, you probably know this already, but I’d definitely aspire to be like:

Captain Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

tumblr_static_picard-full-of-win1x8k2z_zpsb01d0b2eWhy?

1)Picard is an erudite, and a kick-ass captain, who respects his subordinates and knows how to drive them to their best potential.

2) Patrick Stewart.

3) Patrick, frocking Stewart, folks.

As for my second choice, that would be:

Rocket Racoon from Guardians of the Galaxy.

Guardians_Of_The_Galaxy_EST1940_comp_v176.1135Why?

1) I’m hairy and crazy as fuck.

2) That’s pretty much it.

What about you, my beloved minions? Which character would you choose?

Riker’s Beard

I don’t have enough facial hair to grow a beard, (though my waxing lady will beg to differ). I also happen to lack a penis and a steady career in the circus industry, which means the odds I’ll ever get a beard are very slim.

I guess it was never meant to be.

BUT if I were a guy, I would definitely grow commander William Riker’s beard (if you don’t know Star Trek: TNG, here you go. Picard’s heart is broken, by the way.)

jlp

Anyway.

Why Riker’s beard, you might ask?

Because it’s not just a beard. It’s the epiphany of beards.

Just look at it.

riker

  • If Riker’s beard were a John Green book, it would be called “The Fault in My Beard: None”.
  • If it were a Mexican-wrestler, it would be called La Barba Macho.
  • If it were a musical, it would be called “My Fair Beard”.
  • If it were a movie, it would be called “Beardinator”.
  • If it was a fast food chain, it would be called McBeard’s.
  • If it were a pop singer, it would be called Beardy. Get it? From Birdy? Oh! One Beard instead of One Direction? How about Justin Beard? LOL, just kidding, we both know he could never grow one.

I might be losing the juice here, but you get my point.

So if you’re a guy, grow a Riker’s beard. And save the world with it.

Next installment: Neil deGrasse Tyson’s moustache.

Key Speakers At The 28th National Space SymposiumYesssssss.