Hairy Latinas (And Some Argentinians)

Do not google for “hairy latinas”. Seriously, in the name of everything you hold dear, do not google it. I’ve tried, and I’ll never forget what I saw, so this is me warning you: do not do it.

We cool?

Cool.

It’s a well known fact that Latinas such as myself are hairy EVERYWHERE: arms, legs, backs, eyebrows; you name it, we got hair for you.

*A tiny girl raises her hand at the back of the audience and says, “I’m actually Argentinian and I barely have hairs. Like, I only shave every three months.”*

First of all: shut your mouth, you hairless freak of nature, and second of all: suck my bratwurst, Argentina.

Hey, it’s not profanity if I don’t have a bratwurst, right? So, yeah, Argentina sucks my imaginary bratwurst.

No wait, it’s cool, it’s okay, I can say it because I’m from Brazil. Americans have the same relationship with Canada, only Canadians are super nice and Argentinians are the fruit of the devil.

See, even the Argentinian girl is all like, “It’s okay. We’re cool everyone, she’s Brazilian.”

Unfortunately, not all of us are as gifted as some Argentinians (when it comes to hairs, that is. When it comes to football, Pelé was obviously way better than Maradona. Take that, Argentina!). This means I have to wax constantly, like every month, seriously.

Okay, fine, it’s more like every three weeks at most. If I waited four weeks in between waxing, my pubic region would replace the Amazon rain-forest in the list of world heritage sites. (Too much information, anyone?)

I just wanted to say how much I hate being hairy, and waxing, and Argentinians. Okay, just kidding, Argentinians are cool. Hair in the wrong places, on the other hand, is not.

How about you? Care to share some experiences?