50 Shades of Valentine’s Day

Everyone is talking about 50 Shades of Grey. It opens this Valentine’s day, which is today in case you didn’t know. I didn’t, by the way, until my husband reminded me this morning.

He was all like, “How can you forget this shit? You’re a woman.”

To which I replied, “Dude, we spent our five year anniversary watching a Walking Dead marathon.”

And he was all like, “Good point, wife. Good point.”

Anyway, today is 50 Shades day!

I read all three books, I’ll admit. What can I say, I enjoyed the story (Haa just joking, we both know there was none).

But seriously, I didn’t mind the bad writing, lack of plot, and one-dimensional characters at all. Which is disturbing, to say the least.

Update: As I write this, husband goes to the toilet and says “Woa, I think I have diarrhea, babe.” He has now been in the toilet for twenty minutes.Happy Valentines day to you too, hun.

Anyway, before I go, I’d just like to say f*** you, Charlie Hunnam. F*** the fuckidy you.

009-16Why did you turn down the part of Christian Grey? You’re like a young Brad Pitt. Just look at you!

indexInstead, we’ll have to content with saltless, boring Jamie Dornan.

You suck monkey balls, Jamie Dornan!

jamie-dornan-hottest-pics9

Hmmm…maybe not. But only¬† because you look like Andrew Garfield in this pic.

Happy Valentine’s day, ya’ll!