Hiatus?

You might have noticed I’ve been away for a while.

Look, I’m not gonna lie to you: I’ll probably have to–AS IN BEING FORCED!–to keep this hiatus.

The reason, you might ask? That BASTARD C.S. that’s what. She’s super busy with her freaking books and she has zero time to hang out with me these days.

Bitch left me to gather dust, plain and simple. AND IT SUCKS. No hoes before bros, not for that bastard.

I mean, have you seen the hunks in her stories?

boys

Yeeeeah. Thanks a lot, girlfriend.

I was like, “Come on, hook me up with James, dude!” And she was like, “No way, he’s Miriam’s.” And I’m like, “I’m in your fucking head, just turn me into Miriam or whatevs.”

Didn’t work.

So here’s to you, C. S. *raises whiskey glass* Hope you’re having a great time with your hunks and space exploration, and purgatory and shit. I’m fine right here, thank you very much.

F you by the way. F the fuckidy you.

Being Two Different People

You’re gonna be freaked out by this. *Don’t say I didn’t warn you with a creepy whispery voice*

Being Princess Kickass is awesome. It’s so much cooler than being C.S. Wilde.

C.S. Wilde has to think twice before she writes a post or makes a comment, because she’s supposed to be this serious author (well, as much as she can). You know, that whole “With great power comes great responsibility” yadda yadda, which SUCKS, by the way.

I wanna be free and say dumb shit and do whatever I freaking want. I wouldn’t be Princess Kickass if I didn’t.

In (my) our head, C.S. is talking about gaining a readership, and engaging with readers and marketing strategies, and John Braver and Santana Jones, and she’s talking about this emerald statue in a freaking church, and meanwhile, all I care about is having some sushi and watching Jon Snow’s gloriousness in Game of Thrones, wondering if Kit Harrington would EVER star in Magic Mike, cause it would be so awesome if he lost all that innocence to an older woman, like a cougar, and although I’m some ten years behind becoming a cougar, I’d put all the fake make-up necessary to get that part, and I promise you, JON SNOW WOULD KNOW STUFF WITH ME.

See?  Totally different goals.

Anyway, C.S. is asking me if I wouldn’t mind giving a shout out to her (lame) author blog, because she’s trying to gain a readership to make a living, and it turns out her writing is not thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat bad. Okay, it’s terrible. 

So if you have time, do check her out.

I also made a deal with her. I told her I want my memoirs published at some point in time. She said no, because her memoirs are my memoirs, and I get it, she’s shy, but boy, do we have enough material for a HYSTERICAL memoir.

So I cursed her crops, and her dog, and her cow, and she agreed to write the memoir as long as I lifted the curse. Which I did (and she doesn’t even have a cow, crops, or a dog! Stupid…)

But I can bring the curse back any time I freaking want (especially upon her non-existing cow).

Just needed to remind her of that.

So it’s official people, I ‘m getting my memoirs!