How to Reply to a Rejection Letter

A lot of people have trouble dealing with form rejections, be that for a project, a job, college, or anything for that matter.

But fear not, I’m here to help!


Dear Sirs,

Thank you for taking the time to consider my project/me for -insert whatever-. I deeply appreciate the chance, and I respect your decision.

With that being said: Fuck you. Fuck the fuckidy you, hard in the ass, several times, and then some. Fuck you everywhere. Fuck you, fuck your cat, fuck your grandma, and fuck your cow.

Wait, let me spell that for you: F U C K   Y O U.

Have an awesome fucking day, you cold-hearted asshole.


The person you’ll regret rejecting for the rest of your sorry life.

PS: You were my second choice anyway.


Disclaimer: This goes in your head and definitely NOT on an actual reply, yeah? Cool.


44 thoughts on “How to Reply to a Rejection Letter

  1. Oh, my. My holy saint of a soul that is so pure and innocent (and did I say holy?) got marked and tainted for every fuck-word it saw.

    Oh no! I just said the fuck-word! No. I just said it twice! I am so going to hell now! NOOO!

  2. When a university rejected me before, my reply to them was quite rude but of course a lot subtler than your letter. But the funny thing was, Hong Kong University accepted me, which is the best university in HK. So, I also included my acceptance letter in my reply haha…

  3. Gawd……I love it.(throwing out all my kind and sincere thank you for rejecting my manuscript letters) Damn….this is gonna cost me a fortune remailing letters to all those assholes. But damn fucking worth it.

  4. Yeah and just in case you didn’t get that, I’m going to be leaving you a message from a public telephone so you can’t FUCK me around for the second fucking time and sing FUCK you in parody until I fill your message bank up. Not that I’m vindictive or anything or a stalker but I know where you live. Just saying. It’s not like I’ve done this before 😀

  5. You wrote that scene in The Big Lebowski didn’t you? The one where John Goodman threatens Donny with a tyre handle – ‘you see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass…’

    For what it’s worth I always thank people for writing to reject me, for taking the time and the consideration. It always calms them down before the boys with the knuckledusters turn up.

  6. I like the ‘you were my second choice’ part most. I think you could write a letter of some sorts, but without giving so many fucks. You could end it with a sentence like,’ as you can see I never mentioned the word fuck, because I am not giving any.’ Have a prophet-able day – The False Prophet

  7. I always think of Walt Disney who was rejected dozens and dozens of times by banks where he was trying for a loan to create Disney world. Sometimes, rejection will simply come back and bite ya in the ass.

  8. Glad I left my coffee in the other room…else I would’ve spilled it all over my keyboard. Just priceless. I am very glad to have found this blog. All of the “fucks” were of course necessary, but the gem of it all: The postscript! I don’t really put my fiction out there enough to be rejected much, but when I do I’ll definitely keep this in mind. 😉

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